by John E. Turner, LMFT and Sally R. Connolly, LMFT
|Crying women often cause men to feel helpless and their first response is to try to problem-solve or to convince their partner that tears are not helpful or the situation is not as serious as she may think. The man’s intentions are certainly good ones as men often say that, while they feel extremely uncomfortable when they see women crying, their main hope is to find a way to quickly help her feel better.|
Crying Women Do Not Need A Problem SolverWomen may appreciate their partner’s willingness to help; however, solving the problem may not feel like the best response and she may believe that her thoughts and feelings … even she herself … is just being dismissed.
Crying Women May Just Need a ShoulderSo ... what is a man to do? If her tears are not about a concern with him, his best response is just to be a “shoulder to cry on” … someone who can just be good a sounding board. Women generally feel much better after they have talked about a problem and often, once some of the emotion has been drained away, can then come up with their own ideas about how to approach the situation.
A good thing for men to remember … men or women actually … is that when listening to another person talk about a situation that is upsetting to them, do not offer advice unless asked, or until their partner thinks that they truly have a clear understanding of the situation.