What Are Some Things I Should Look For In Choosing a Partner?by John E. Turner, LMFT and Sally Connolly, LMFT
|Do you need some dating advice about what things to look for when
choosing a partner? What are some of the things to count in and count
out when looking for someone to date? |
Remember, in choosing someone with whom to partner, it is not important to look for someone who might want you; but rather, someone that you think can be a mature and healthy fit for you.
Our Dating AdviceHere are some of the qualities that we think are important components for healthy partnering. Our dating advice is to choose someone with the following characteristics.
Has your new interest been able to hold on to a job for a while, have healthy relationships with friends and family or be able to explain honestly some of his or her decisions about distance or disruption in a relationship? Is he or she able to be nurturing and supportive? Does he/she struggle with “old baggage”?
While you may be of different political perspectives, can you respect the differences? Are the differences too large? Do you believe that your partner is honest and has integrity? What about spirituality? Is he/she a loyal person? Responsible? Trustworthy?
Another piece of dating advice involves money. Is your new interest able to handle money effectively? Is debt appropriate for his or her status? (Student loans are a lot different than a large credit card balance.) What do you notice about how he or she handles money when you are together?
Interests and Lifestyle
Do you have things in common? Like similar music interests? Activities? Hobbies? What about social activities, do you both enjoy generally the same level of activity with others? Does one of you really like to be out and about while the other is more of a “homebody”?
Education and Intelligence
Do you have similar educational backgrounds? Relationships work best when there is similarity although it certainly does not have to be equal. It is also best when intelligence is similar. It enhances conversation and interests.
Dating advice can lead to marriage selection advice. What does your interest think about marriage? What are his/her thoughts about roles for a husband and wife? What about children? If he/she could describe an ideal marriage, what would it be?
While beauty is only skin deep, there are also some physical characteristics to consider. Certainly, physical attraction is one of the first things that you notice but, in the long run, some aspects may remain important. Is being “fit” important to you? Are neatness or stylish dressing important to you?
Want to explore this area further? John and Sally at Counseling Relationships Online are experts in relationships, can give a lot of healthy dating advice and provide online and in-person counseling.
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