Know Your Partner’s Dreams

by Sally Connolly, LMFT and John E. Turner, LMFT

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    Learn and understand your partners dreams and wishes

  • What are your partner’s secret desires?
  • If she could do or be anything that she wanted, what would it be?
  • If he could spend time on one new activity, what would that be?
  • Where would she most like to travel?
  • How does he envision retirement?
  • What are some things that your partner would want to do while still in good health?
  • What would your partner like to be doing differently … or more of, 5 years from now? 10 years from now? 25 years from now?

Couples that really know each others’ hopes and dreams feel more connected. They have fuller, richer and more varied love maps and a better understanding of their spouse’s inner lives.

Women usually know what their husband's dream but that is not so true of men.

Wives are generally good at supporting their husbands to live out their dreams. Women are reared to support relationships and society supports men as the "breadwinner", the person most focused on doing what he wants to do to meet his needs as well as the needs of his family.

Men are also often good at being clear about what they want and need for career, recreational and social pursuits. While many men are respectful and mature in their commitment to home and family, they also recognize the importance of asking for and pursuing what is important to them.

Women need to learn how to speak up more as men learn to listen more

Women are not as good at looking inward and focusing on themselves and what is important to them … especially if it may be at some expense for the family. Dreams may still be there, however women often put the needs of the family above themselves.

Women must find ways to recognize and respect their own dreams and share them out loud.  Men must learn how to listen and ask questions so that they can support their wives.

Interestingly, John Gottman, who did a lot of research on healthy relationships, found that husbands who listen, understand and help their wives to achieve their dreams have better and stronger marriages.

We are glad to talk more with you about how to support your dreams.  Click here to begin right now.  We can help through email, phone or chat.

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