How to Fall Back in Love:

5 Tips To Help You Fall Back In Love

by John E. Turner, LMFT and Sally R. Connolly, LMFT

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It is "normal" in the life cycle of a marriage or any long-term relationship to have times of feeling more in love than at other times.  There are may reasons why people fall out of love.  To fall back in love; however, may not be so easy.

Learning to fall back in love after falling out of love does not happen automatically,  Sometimes it takes effort and practice.

"I love him but I am not IN LOVE with him."

"We seem to have lost that spark and I do not know if I could even fall back in love with her again."

"We seem to be just roommates ... and have lost the good feelings that we once had."

These are the words ... and feelings .. that go through the minds and hearts of almost all of those who are involved in long-term relationships.  It is rare for both parties in a couple to have those same warm and connected feelings all of the time.  Yes, it is very possible to find that you are able to fall back in love with your spouse.

Often these feeling and thoughts of being in and out of love; however, are more about taking each other for granted, devoting more time to career, children, social lives or other activities that prevent prioritizing the marriage and nurturing the couple relationship.

When partners do not nurture their relationship, they tend to become distant and feel more lonely and isolated.   Feelings fade and couples need support to fall back in love.

Some will decide that this is reason enough for a divorce. One research study, however, noted that couples who do stay together and find a way to bring their marriage back to life, report happiness 5 years later with appreciation for having found a way to stay together.

So …

How do you try to bring those feelings back? How can you fall back in love? It certainly helps if more than one of you are working on this, however, even one person can make a difference in the relationship. Here are a few ideas to help you begin to turn things around and support falling back in love.

5 Tips To Help You Fall Back In Love

1.  Fall back in love by looking at pictures of happier times together and reminiscing about those experiences together.

2.  Reignite your sexual relationship to help you two fall back in love

3.  Schedule dates
with each other and make sure that they are occasions when you do not talk about any problems, just about what has happened during the day, weekend plans, etc.

4.  It will help you to fall back in love if you only talk about your spouse and your life in good ways
to family and friends.

.  Another way to help yourself fall back in love is to, each day,
think about one good characteristic about your spouse that you really like and admire. Try to remember specific things that he or she has done to demonstrate that characteristic. Ponder on that one all day. The next day, choose another one. Tell your partner about your appreciation for that characteristic.

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