How Effective Are You In An Emotionally Intelligent Relationship?

By John E. Turner, LMFT and Sally R. Connolly, LMFT                                     Share this article.
Bookmark and Share

Circle your answer to the following questions.

1.   I am able to remain calm when having a disagreement with my spouse.
      Yes                                                              No

2.   If I find myself starting to get upset when we disagree or he or she is talking with me about a problem, I can find a way to calm myself down, even if it means that I need to take a break.
     Yes                                                              No

3.   We have many more positive things happen in our daily lives, than negative ones.
      Yes                                                             No

4.   We can share struggles that we have with others without giving each other unsolicited advice.
      Yes                                                              No

5.   I feel respected and appreciated by my partner.
      Yes                                                             No

6.   Even though we disagree about the same things much of the time, we can still talk about those issues in respectful, caring ways.
      Yes                                                            No
 
7.   When I talk, my partner listens. When my partner talks, I listen.
     Yes                                                            No

8.   When we disagree, we find lots of ways to remind each other that a good relationship is more important than winning the argument.
      Yes                                                              No

9.   Our intimate and sexual life is satisfying for us both.
      Yes                                                              No

10.   I know my partners’ dreams and fears.
        Yes                                                            No

  11.   We fill each other in on lots that happens in our lives.
        Yes                                                             No

12.   When we disagree, we do not automatically jump to negative thoughts about each other.
        Yes                                                              No

13.   We know how to laugh and have fun with each other and do so often.
        Yes                                                              No

14.   We frequently let each other know what we like and appreciate about each other and about our life together.
        Yes                                                              No
 
 
15.   We reserve special relationship time for ourselves on a regular basis.
        Yes                                                              No

If you answered “yes” to 12 or more questions, congratulate yourself on knowing how to be a part of a healthy relationship.