Marriage Check-Up



Is my marriage headed in the right direction or is it in trouble?

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Answer the questions on this marriage check-up to find out how things are going in your marriage. One person can certainly answer these alone. If you both answer them and then talk about the questions, it will help you get a better understanding of your partner, how each of you think and feel about the relationship.

Sometimes couples can get off-track without even recognizing it. This marriage check-up will give you some ideas for areas to “tweak” or talk over with your partner.

Marriage Check-Up

1. My spouse and I generally know what is happening in each other‘s life.
      Yes          No

2. We laugh together and are usually in a good mood when we are with each other.
      Yes          No

3. We find time to touch each other, with love, at several different times during each day.
      Yes          No

4. Neither I, nor my spouse, are often irritable or in a bad mood.
      Yes          No

5. We can control our temper, take a time out if necessary, and work through disagreements in healthy ways.
      Yes          No

6. We do not let small issues escalate into bigger ones.
      Yes          No

7. We regularly find time to be together and, when we do, we enjoy each other’s company.
      Yes          No

8. When we disagree, we find ways to “repair the damage” to our relationship. We both agree that “winning an argument” is not the most important part of a disagreement.
      Yes          No

9. Neither of us would describe ourselves as feeling lonely in this relationship.
      Yes          No

10. My spouse and I both respect and feel respected in this marriage.
      Yes          No

11. There are a lot more positives than negatives in our marriage.
      Yes          No

12. We do not keep secrets from each other.
      Yes          No

13. We are “friends” on facebook, have access to each other’s email and cell phones, but really feel no need to check up on each other.   Neither one of us has given the other one a reason to lose trust.
      Yes          No

14. We would agree that there is a lot to be grateful for in our lives.
      Yes          No

15. While there has been a lot of stress in our lives lately, we have worked through it together and would both describe our relationship as stronger.
      Yes          No

16. We connect.  We rarely feel like two ships just passing in the night.
      Yes          No

17. We are emotionally present for each other.
      Yes          No

18. When we talk with our friends about our spouse, 99% of it is only  positive, not complaints.
      Yes          No
 
19. While we know that some problems may never have a solution,  neither of us feels like we just have not resolved an issue very often.
      Yes          No   

20. We let each other know, on a daily basis, things that we like and appreciate about each other. Sometimes it is a small thing like taking out the trash or a nice hug or kiss. Other times, we talk about the bigger things we love and appreciate like our gentleness and kindness with the children or family or the hard work we do to make sure that we have the funds to pay our bills.
Yes No

Marriage Check-Up Scoring:
If you answered “no” for more than 4 of these questions, you and your spouse should gently talk about the state of your marriage and how you might get it in a better spot.

If problems are allowed to hang around, then they can grow and multiply. With time, loneliness and distance become familiar feelings and marriages experience even bigger problems.

Did you do well? Congratulations! Think about visiting this every few months to see if you are staying on track.

Want to talk more about your own score.  We are here to help either in person or online.  Click here to begin right away.  Send us an email or give us a call and we can talk.


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