Trial Separation:

 How Can Couples Do It Responsibly?

by John E. Turner, LMFT and Sally R. Connolly, LMFT

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Are you considering a trial separation as one way to save your marriage?

Do you think that this might be worth considering?

Sometimes a trial separation may save a marriage.

You may be wondering, how CAN a trial separation save a marriage? That seems to run against what many people might think.

Often couples believe that they need to stay together in order to try to work things out; however, there are times when the space and distance offered by a trial separation can make a big difference by interrupting destructive patterns and giving couples the space to each think about the problems and their own part in the “dance“.

Times to Consider a Trial Separation

Here are some times when a trial separation might be considered as a possible remedy.
  • When you and your partner are fighting frequently, at least daily, with little or no resolution about any problem.
  • When the ugly pattern has been going on for months and neither of you can find their way out of it.
  • When there has been physical violence … even once.
  • When the fighting has escalated to such a point that there is frequent name-calling and the use of explosive language.
  • When one person has asked for space a lot but their spouse has not been able to allow that to happen and has continued to push for more time together.

Make rules for the trial separation.
Couples who answer “yes” to any one of these questions may want to consider a trial separation.

When talking about a trial separation, it is good to think about how to do it responsibly and respectfully. We want to share with you some factors to consider and rules you might choose to make, if a trial separation is a possibility for you and your spouse.

We can help.  Read our article and contact us about how to help you decide whether or not this might be the best direction for you with your relationship.  Click here to go directly to our enrollment page.

Click here, Rules for a Trial Separation, to learn about how to structure a trial separation that might bring you back together with your spouse.

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